This is a bit of a taboo topic, because in my experience most guys in general don’t want to admit they suck at something. ESPECIALLY fighting. For some reason there’s alot of guys who think that regardless of experience they can just fight anybody and anyone. This is far from reality, and sparring can either brake or make your self-image.
I made a pretty lengthy video about this topic that I feel is better in video, so you can check it out here:
But for those that prefer reading, here’s what I’ll have to say.
First off, if you have a “bad” sparring day, I encourage you, (with your sparring partners permission of course) to record your sparring footage. Humans tend to focus on negative stuff. You’d be suprised how much better you did if you watch back, most of the time guys think they are getting no shots in but in reality you do at least a few times. Don’t let it inflate your ego, but try to look at things objectively.
Secondly, go into sparring with the expectation that you’re going to get hit, and come to terms with it. Now obviously if you’re getting injured that’s a whole other issue with your gym. You should be in an environment that challenges you but doesn’t leave you injured after every session. I’m not talking about bruises or dinged knees, elbows ect. I’m talking like knockouts (even getting your ‘bell rung’, joint pain, ect)
Lastly, don’t make unrealistic expectations of yourself. Fighting is not like any other sport because every time you make a mistake, there’s a physical consequence. Your brain is not designed to get hit, so even small hits with alot of frequency does damage to the ego because genetically your alarm bells go off thinking you’re being attacked even in a lighter sparring session. The only way to get over this is to spar often and frequently to realize you’re a whole lot tougher than you think.
I think sparring is incredibly helpful because it helps you face reality in a tangible way. We often think of our selves better than we actually are because of our fallen human nature and pride. The more you spar, the more humble you should become.
…and that is an uncomfortable feeling for most guys. A lot of guys want the result without necessarily putting in the work. And getting your butt kicked every day is not something people really look forward to. But if you simply show up and keep trying to get better, you will—as long as you stay consistent.